But what if I do not wish to?

Blank canvases always bring with them the free rein to create something unbridled and that basically sums up the reason behind my twitchiness coupled with exuberance while I am attempting to write my first blog. I, therefore, will be grateful for all the valuable insights, suggestions or constructive criticism that the readers of this blog may entail and request you to share them with me in the comments section.

Source : NicePNG

To begin with, it has always been of utmost importance for the society to maintain an orderly behaviour in which it's constituents function, so as to be a " civilized society ". There have been certain ways in which the life of the individuals of the community have been regulated. Numerous social constructs like class, caste, race, ethnicity, gender and other biases have had a role to play. If we look at the multi-cultural structure of the southeast Asian nations like India, it is common knowledge that varied social constructs make up the complex individual identities of the natives of these societies. 

With this in the backdrop, questioning some naturalized yet offending practices becomes pertinent in order to develop an understanding of the expectations and stereotypes attached to the individuals who might belong to different communities. For the sake of convenience of writing, this blog's scope will be restricted to the context of Indian young women (aged 15 to 25 years). 

Though, there is a lot of hue and cry regarding women empowerment and gender equality in all the possible walks of life for last few decades, how far have we actually been able to realize these ideals in reality? What are the basics (from the perspective of a woman who is currently hustling in the said situational setup) that still remain unmet?

In a quest to find answers to these questions, I would like to reflect upon some of my personal experiences in the recent years. But before that, let me give you a brief introduction about myself so as to provide a clear inference for my readers.

I am a 24-year old woman who has lived independently for eight years, and probably, these years have pushed me to evolve as an individual that I am today- incessantly inclined towards ideals of justice, liberty and peaceful co-existence for all. It is relevant to mention here that during my early days, however, I was not even 50% the same person that I am today. In fact, I was really ignorant of wrongdoings happening around me, I never raised my voice even if someone would offend me, be it friends, family or even strangers! There is no doubt that I am proud of myself for whatever I have endured (things seemed impossibly tough each time!) and still managed to gather myself every single time, but, nonetheless, I really wish that there was some respite from the incidents that were completely based in societal pressures and had no moral grounds, whatsoever. 

Now, bringing our attention back to the main topic here, let's dive into the ground realities of women empowerment and gender equality agendas, as perceived by me. Undoubtedly, quite a many initiatives have been taken up in the realm of policy making on all the levels - local to global. In some places, aware citizenry has taken up praiseworthy initiatives, showing the way to constructively make these agendas the reality of the day. Various resources can be utilized to find detailed information regarding such initiatives, if one is interested. Anyhow, the functional realities are not yet up to the mark. 

An Indian woman of 21st century has the liberty to go out and make a living, provided she maintains the sanctity of being a typical woman. She is required to still take decisions based on the preferences of her male counterparts. The docile behaviour remains a sought after aspect in a woman throughout echelons of society. A general notion pervasive in traditional families of Indian landscape concur that getting married and starting a family in her 20s is a necessary step to be a successful woman, no matter what be her professional qualifications and achievements. In addition to this, there is a certain (mostly unsaid, but duly followed) dressing sense that must be complied by the women if they wish to refrain from becoming the hush-hush talk of the town or not be called out in the public. 

Of course, today, we see that many women are leading by example in their own ways, paving a less treaded path for a lot of us. They make sure that the objectives they have ascertained for themselves are achieved, irrespective of whether they conform to the stereotypical expectations of themselves or not. But, it is a difficult road to walk upon, to say the least. Any institution, be it families, schools, colleges or workplaces, still have an inbuilt patriarchal force which shows despite the conscious efforts made to promote inclusivity. On a day-to-day basis, women are subjected to unpleasant comments, uncomfortable requests and unfair treatments. Something as basic as menstruation still remains a secret of the females of the group, which must not be made apparent to others.

Although, all of this and a lot more has been instilled as a regular occurring in my intuition by my own experiences. But, regardless of that, as a grown up woman today, I can no longer stand the frustration these nuances spark in me. I understand that I cannot change people's perceptions if they are not willing to listen. Neither can I set out to be a rebel for everything because I eternally value my mental health. Definitely, I need to be smart enough to choose the battles that I am willing to fight.

But, what if my patience is running out every-time i hear someone objectifying women as an expression of humor? What if I no longer want to do the balancing acts that I have been doing throughout my life just to keep in line with the social pressures? What if I am unlearning to keep mum over issues that affect me or my peace of mind? What if my understanding of a women's capabilities, rights as well as duties are not segregated because of her gender? What if I no longer want to bear the brunt of someone else's insecurities? What if I do not wish to be confined in the shackles of my perceived identity as a woman?

“ Find your identity, your true self and live your mission. Your power is your radical self. Find it.”  - Aya Chebbi